Can a child understand solitude through loneliness?
The Only Child by Guojing is a beautiful, heartwarming wordless story about a little girl who sets off to seek the company of her grandma, and falls into a surreal adventure.
As restless as a child can be, is this one. With nothing that can keep her still for long. Hopping from one idea to another, one activity to another.
All she wants is some company. Presence. Love. Pampering, too.
She’s a child after all.
Not that any of us ever grow out of needing these.
She writes a note, dresses herself up, and sets out to catch a bus to grandma’s.
The double spreads in this book will make you sigh.
She wakes up after missing her stop, and finds herself in an unrecognisable place.
It’s tough being alone; especially as children. It can be confusing. A sense of being lost.
We go looking for the tiniest source of company and belonging.
It could be anything. Even a whale.
How often have we let our need for not being alone
lead us into situations that alienate us further?
If it isn’t easy being a child, it isn’t easy being parents, either.
It’s a decision to embrace the responsibility of dealing with the unexpected,
for better or for worse.
With responsibility comes guilt. So much of it is dished out to parents who work.
For leaving their children behind.
Parents take upon themselves this burden from a society that knows nothing of their love for their child. They hold to their hearts a heavy question – I am doing this wrong?
No, you are not doing this wrong.
You are not only a parent. You are an individual.
You pick your priorities and sacrifices to the best of your judgement,
and see them through. This is between you and your child.
If you raise an individual who is capable of thinking for themselves, communicating, contributing and empathising, you did better than most.
Meanwhile, every child has a journey of growing up.
None of us can control or design that.
We could, at best, influence.
Along with offering uncompromised support and love.
Being alone leads to discovery. Maybe through an activity / interest that can be
a catalyst for imagination and creativity.
New land. New friends.
A sense of belonging. And, of course, adventure!
The softness and surreal feel of the pencil / charcoal illustrations comes with relatability and depth of emotions – brace yourself for a bittersweet experience.
We all must return. From things (and people) who saved us.
They delivered us with distraction and comfort, and gave us renewed courage to go back to what we needed a break from. What we perhaps needed some perspective on,
from a distance.
Our lives await, along with the people in it, who love us. Whom we love. A withdrawal, now and then, does make it so much sweeter.
Maybe we are able to understand who they are better
when we return from exploring who we are.
To be able to tell solitude from loneliness will only come in time.
To find comfort in solitude will come from exploring it.
When we give a child a door that opens to a world they can slip into, they use it as an inspiration to build their own. They discover the power and influence of an activity
that they feel one with.
It’s like introducing them to a friend for life.
Loneliness can be heartbreaking and confusing. Not just for children.
May every child grow up with a sense of comfort in being alone.
It can be a life saver.
“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.”
– Ellen Burstyn
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